In the military, there are many days where you will be bored out of your mind and suddenly in a state of high stress that could be a life or death situation. The job within the military can be very exciting, rewarding, and a confidence and maturity builder for a young man or woman. The addition of higher education benefits, medical, dental, housing, and worldwide travel can be what many people who serve appreciate of their military service. However, the moments of hanging out with your co-workers can yield some top notch sarcastic responses to the day's events. In the Navy, the saying, "A happy sailor is a bitching sailor," is very true as it helps to verbalize and laugh at some of these events that occur each day.
Here is a list of funny and sarcastic reasons to stay in the military. If these won't keep you in the military, nothing will. These made the top 25 reason to stay in the military after your initial enlistment - maybe even retire!
1. Yesterday sucked, today sucked, tomorrow is going to suck, and this seems to be a pretty solid forecast for the rest of my enlistment.
2. Taking simple daily tasks and breaking them down into nuclear physics before doing them.
3. Who really wants to have any control over their life anyway?
4. Having to attend a brief prior to carrying out any task more complicated than picking my nose.
5. Being a personal servant to any one of the 300 thousand people in the military who out-rank me.
6. Being an adult and having somebody inspect me everyday to make sure I put my clothes on properly.
7. I love cleaning the same places over and over and over until either the paint comes off or my hands are bleeding.
8. White Glove Inspections
9. If I got out, I would surely miss the idea of waking up every morning for a "meeting".
10. Getting "random" drug tests every couple of weeks.
11. Waking up every morning and going to "staff meeting" where a piece of paper is read to me even though it is posted on the wall and on the internet, both of which I have access to. I guess I can't read.
12. Going to medical complaining of severe chest pain and being prescribed Motrin.
13. I love the fact that my opinion has about as much influence as my sister's pet iguana's.
14. Because no matter how much I hate my job, I have to respectfully request to get a different one. Even then, it is only if my "chain of command" permits.
15. You do not have to respect the person, you have to respect what they wear on their collar or sleeve.
16. I hate good food.
17. I love the " you are U.S. ambassadors" speech.
18. I hate spending time with my family.
19. Not only getting to do my own job, but getting stuck with as many additional duties as my chain of command wants to give me to do. I love collateral duties!
20. Having to change your computer password every two weeks to keep terrorists from hacking into our email or even playing an innocent game of solitaire.
21. When you get out after 20 years, you will only be 38-40. You still have your entire life ahead of you. Yeah, okay, I want my life to start at 38.
22. Oh, look...There's the boss. We better all stand at attention until he tells us we can move.
23. If I get in trouble out in town I would like to get woken up the next day at 6 am and have to stand in front of my boss, manager, assistant manager, and anyone else who has nothing better to do so that they can all chew my ass.
24. You take an oath to support and defend the Constitution, and after that the Constitution doesn't even apply to you.
25. Safety Briefs!
As with any job or profession, there are pro's and con's. The military has many benefits from reenlistment bonuses, free education, exciting travel, adrenalin rush depending on your job, and some pride for serving (once you are out).